Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty
by KyKy-13
Summary: After being exposed to a new odd Materia, Kadaj accidentally gets turned into a tiny silver kitten. A kitten with a bad attitude. What's a Turk to do? Reno/Kadaj


Upon walking though the front door of Seventh Heaven Bar, Reno was greeted by the sudden angry shouts of Cid Highwind.

"God dammit, boy! Git down from there now!"

Reno's brow creased in thought. Uh-oh…who was Cid pissed off at this time?

The redhead strode cautiously towards the kitchen, where the source of all the commotion was coming from. Pushing the door open, Reno was met with a rather odd sight.

Pots and pans were strewn everywhere, from the floor to the countertops. The long table was tipped over onto its side, and chairs were scattered. Shattered dishes and glass crunched under Reno's boots as he walked. The room was a complete wreck. It looked as if a tornado had run through it.

Yazoo, Loz, Vincent and Tifa were busy occupying themselves with cleaning up the wreckage, while Cid stood staring up at the top of the fridge, arms crossed, cigarette hanging from his lips, and a disapproving snarl across his features.

"Cid?" Reno asked, hopping over a pan. "What the hell happened in here?"

The blonde snorted, stabbing a finger up towards the top of the fridge. "That's what happened!"

Reno looked up, and suddenly noticed a small fluffy silver tail swaying back and forth. Curious, he got on his tiptoes, and peered as best as he could over the top of the fridge.

It was a kitten. A tiny silvery-grey kitten. It was curled up in a ball on top of the tall appliance, fur frazzled in agitation.

"A kitten?" Reno raised an eyebrow.

"It's not a kitten." Yazoo spoke up, placing a few unscathed dishes back into the cabinet.

The redhead frowned, looking back up at the swinging tail. "Sure as hell looks like a kitten to me."

"It may look like a kitten, Reno." Vincent frowned. "But it isn't."

Cid took a drag of the cigarette. "It's Kadaj."

"Kadaj?" Reno blinked.

Tifa suddenly emerged from her place behind the overturned table. She wiped her hands on her skirt with a frown. "Yuffie came into the bar his afternoon with a bagful of new Materia to show everyone. She was showing Kadaj a strange purple one that she found, and when Kadaj touched it…well…this happened."

Reno was silent for a moment, still processing everything the busty brunette just said. "He…became a cat?"

Cid growled. "And a damn annoyin' one, too! He's been havin' a massive freak-out ever since 'e was turned." He motioned to the mess. "Ya see this? He caused it! He's tearin' the place apart! Runnin' around, bitin' and scratchin' at everyone. He's more of a menace than when he's human!"

Loz held his gloved hand out, showing Reno a spot where the leather was torn right through. "See this? Kadaj scratched me when I tried to grab him."

Reno shoved his hands inside his pocket. "You can't really blame him. I'd freak too if I was suddenly turned into a kitten."

Tifa sighed. "We've been trying for hours to get him down off that fridge. But he won't budge until Cloud and Yuffie come back with the Materia that will reverse all this. And they've been gone a while."

Reno eyed Kadaj's silver tail, still swaying gracefully over the edge of the fridge. He knew Kadaj. He knew the Remnant was ridiculously stubborn and very easily angered. That, along with the natural fierce pride of the feline species, Kadaj would not be easy to deal with.

"Have you tried to get him down yourselves?" Reno asked.

Cid choked out a laugh. "Are ya kiddin' me? I don't wanna be clawed at!"

The Turk shook his head, and snatched an overturned chair from the floor. Placing it square in front of the fridge, Reno climbed up and stood on the chair, so that he was now a few feet higher and could see right over the fridge. He could see the little kitten perfectly now. He was curled up in a ball; so ridiculously fluffy, he looked more fur than feline. He was very small too; probably enough to fit into the palm of Reno's hand. Big green Mako eyes with that familiar black slit stared back at him, unblinking.

"Kadaj?" Reno bit his lip, trying to hold back his laughter. "Can you come down, please?"

The kitten didn't budge. He didn't even blink.

The Turk tilted his head. "I know you're upset. Hell, I'd be too if I was turned into an adorable little fluff-ball like you. But, you have to come down now. Please?"

Kadaj still didn't move an inch. If it wasn't for his little body rising and falling with every breath, Reno would've mistook him for a stuffed toy.

"Kadaj." Reno frowned. "If you don't get down from here right now, I'll have to do it myself."

Reaching a hand out, Reno tried to seize the tiny creature by the scruff of the neck.

Not a good idea.

Kadaj let out a vicious hiss, silver fur standing on edge. He used his tiny paw to swat and claw at Reno's hand, scratching through the skin. The redhead gasped, yanking his bleeding hand back.

"Ouch! Dammit, you scratched me! Bad kitty! Bad!" Reno glared at the kitten. "Fine. If you don't wanna move, I ain't gonna make you. Be stubborn."

Annoyed and angered, Reno jumped off the chair and set it back next to the now-upright table. He hissed in pain, clutching at the little wound.

"I told ya." Cid eyed the cut flesh. "Cat's are vicious little bastards. And so is Kadaj. He ain't comin' down anytime soon."

Reno nodded, glancing at Kadaj.

Tifa took Reno's injured hand in hers with a frown. "Oh dear. Do you want a bandage for that?"

The Turk shook his head. "No, no it's fine. I'll survive." He looked around. "Better help ya clean up this mess. It looks like it's gonna be a long night."

Within the hour, the group of them managed to tidy up the disaster in the kitchen. It wasn't as much work as it was made out to be, what with everyone working swiftly and accordingly. Dishes and pots were put back into the cabinets, shards of glass and porcelain were swept up, and tables and chairs were placed back to their standing positions.

Reno frowned. How in the name of Gaia could one tiny kitten cause such a ruckus? Well…it was Kadaj after all. That boy alone nearly destroyed all of humanity on his own but a year or so ago. He was capable of anything if provoked.

After the room was finally back to its normal state of impeccable cleanliness, Yazoo slipped an apron on and began to prepare dinner. Within minutes, the delectable aroma of fresh basil, garlic and tomato sauce filled the air. Reno couldn't hide the grumble in his stomach. He hadn't eaten anything all day.

"That smells amazing, Yazoo." Tifa took a deep whiff of the air.

The beautiful long-haired Remnant gave a nod, stirring the sauce. "Thank you. It's a favourite dish amongst my brothers..." He smirked, "…especially Kadaj."

Reno grinned. Yazoo was a clever one, no doubt about it.

As the slender Remnant set full plates of spaghetti in front of each person, Reno watched Kadaj out of the corner of his eye. The little creature was closer to the edge of the fridge now; big eyes peering down at them curiously.

The redhead smirked wickedly, wrapping his spaghetti around his fork and shoving it into his mouth. "Mmmm! Oh, wow! Yazoo, this spaghetti is so good!" He licked his lips, rather dramatically. "That is delicious. Mmm…like an orgasm for the mouth!"

Yazoo blinked. "Uhm…thank you?"

Opening his eyes, Reno noticed everyone around the table eyeing him oddly. Clearly, he had gone a tad bit too far with that last comment.

He looked up at Kadaj. "You hungry, Kadaj? I bet you are, being stuck up on that fridge all day." He held up a forkful of spaghetti. "You want some? It sure is delicious."

The kitten eyed the fork, and Reno was sure he was going to leap onto the plate at any second. Instead, Kadaj slunk back, turning his head away from the food.

Stubborn, as always.

"Nice try, Reno." Vincent smiled, dabbing his mouth with a napkin.

"I ain't done, yet." The redhead removed a plate from the cabinet and filled it with a small amount of spaghetti. "Alright, Kadaj, be like that. But, just in case…" He placed the plate on the floor by his feet. "…I'm going to put some spaghetti here. If you want it, come get it."

Without one more word, Reno proceeded to eat his supper. He knew Kadaj wouldn't budge if everyone was watching him. The Turk made sure he didn't look at the little kitten as he made light conversation with Cid. It would only be a matter of time…

Just then, a light thud was heard near the fridge. Reno grinned inwardly, but still kept his eyes on his food. Kadaj must've jumped onto the counter. Shortly after that, another light thud was heard. The kitten was on the floor now, and ever-so-slowly began to approach the plate of food near Reno's feet.

The redhead peered over and saw Kadaj's tiny little paws tread cautiously over the kitchen floor, approaching the spaghetti like a lion stalking its prey. He smiled at how ridiculously fluffy and small the kitten was. Almost surprising that it was actually the feared Remnant leader.

Reaching the food, Kadaj began to delicately nibble at the strands of spaghetti, completely oblivious to everyone eyeing him intently.

Tifa sighed with relief. "Finally. Good work, Reno."

The Turk smiled in thanks, reaching down to softly stroke the kitten's back. Kadaj flinched with a hiss when he felt the huge hand approach.

"Shh…Kadaj, it's alright." Reno said softly.

Slowly, Reno ran his fingers down the kitten's soft back, stroking and petting the fluffy silver fur. Kadaj's little body was stiff at first, but with every gentle stroke, he slowly eased. The kitten arced into Reno's touch, purring.

"Good kitty." Reno smiled, scratching the little creature behind the ears.

* * *

It was well after one a.m. before everyone decided to head to bed.

Reno stayed up as long as he could with the others, waiting anxiously for Cloud and Yuffie to return with the reverse Materia.

The phone rang before eleven, with unfortunate news from Cloud about the situation. Turns out, there was no Materia that could reverse what happened to Kadaj. He and Yuffie had travelled throughout Midgar, Wutai, and everywhere in-between, but with no luck. The only thing they really could do was wait it out and hope for the best.

Vincent had agreed to not tell Kadaj just yet about the unfortunate news until the time was right. Kadaj was in too good a mood. He spent most of the night on the kitchen floor with Yazoo and Loz, bounding back and forth between his brothers as they rolled a ball of yarn to each other. It was a sickeningly adorable sight to behold, but at least the Remnant was somewhat happy.

When it got late enough, Tifa offered Reno a spare bed upstairs to sleep in, and thanked him for all his help with the situation. The redhead took the offer with open arms and slumped almost lifeless onto the bed, exhausted.

He was just about to fall asleep, when suddenly; a light weight hit the bed, and four tiny paws crawled up his body. Reno opened his eyes, and smiled as Kadaj curled up on his chest, nuzzling him affectionately.

"Excuse me, little guy." The Turk laughed. "What do you think you're doing?"

The only response Reno received was an affectionate lick from a sandpaper tongue, along with a tiny "meow".

Smiling contently, the redhead curled up and rested his hand over Kadaj's warm fluffy body. The kitten snuggled close, and before long, was fast asleep. Reno shut his eyes too, savouring the peaceful moment before tomorrow mornings undeniable catastrophe once the news was broken to Kadaj. The warmth emitting from the kitten's tiny body helped ease Reno's senses, letting him slip faster and faster into sleep.

Suddenly, the redhead felt as though a massive weight collided with his chest. Like someone had placed a rock on top of his body. He grunted, sitting up quickly. When he opened his eyes, he found himself staring deeply into a pair of Mako eyes, only inches from his face.

"Kadaj!" The redhead gasped. "You're human! And…" he looked down, eyes widening. "…uhm…naked."

The Materia must've worn off a lot sooner than imagined, instantly transforming the little creature back into the beautiful silver-haired teenager. He was sitting on Reno's lap, completely bare, moonlight dancing across fair skin and taut muscles.

"What?" The youth stared down at himself and widened his eyes. "Oh my God!" Kadaj seized the nearest pillow and covered himself with it, face flushing madly. "Why the hell am I naked? I had clothes on when I was turned!"

The Turk shrugged, unable to contain his smile. "Well, I guess it's cause you weren't wearing clothes as a kitten. Which, by the way, was going to change because I was about to knit you a cute little bonnet."

The Remnant chuckled. "Shame."

Reno smirked, reaching up to brush a strand of silver hair from the Remnant's face. Kadaj looked at his hand with a frown, taking it in his and pressing a gentle kiss to the scratches running across it.

"Sorry about that." Kadaj whispered, brushing the red cuts with his hot breaths. "I was a little agitated."

Reno smiled warmly and softly rubbed the area behind Kadaj's ear. The Remnant's eyes fluttered shut, and he leaned into the palm of Reno's hand, nuzzling it tenderly.

Taking the back of the youth's neck, Reno pulled Kadaj down into a warm chaste kiss and, for a split second, he could've sworn he heard the boy purr.


End file.
